In hiding
by Factory Knot
Summary: Neal comes down with a fever and remembers a traumatic incident in his childhood. Can Peter pick up the pieces? Neal angst/whumpage.
1. Chapter 1

**In hiding**

Danny's head was aching and he felt cold one minute hot the next, shivering and then sweating. He had been feeling ill since he had woken up but he hadn't wanted to miss school today, he had double history which was one of his favourite classes and he certainly didn't want to be at home, this was not one of his mom's good weeks, so he'd simply ignored it, hoping that maybe he'd feel better once he was up. He washed and dressed, he was down to his last clean t-shirt he noticed, he'd had to do some washing tonight.

He had learnt the hard way that turning up to school in dirty or old clothes invited the wrong sort of attention, both from the other students but even worse from the teachers. He didn't want social services sniffing around again, making his mom cry threatening to take him away from her. They didn't seem to understand it wasn't Danny who needed looking after, if Danny wasn't here making sure she ate every day, who knows what would happen to her. Like mom said it was just the two of them against the world. Dad had been a hero, a policeman and he had been shot by bad men, dangerous men. The world was full of bad people. You couldn't trust anyone except family. That was why they had to live here, so that the bad men couldn't find them so it was just the two of them. It was why special policemen called Marshall's used to come by every few months when Danny was younger. His mom said they couldn't be trusted either, they were always asking questions about her losing her job, asking questions about how she was looking after Danny, making her cry. They were dangerous too, but in a different way, they might decide Danny and his mom couldn't stay together or that they would stop protecting them from the bad people who killed his Dad and still wanted to kill Danny and his mom if they found him.

Danny found himself in his first class, without really remembering how he got there. He chose a sit in towards the front of the class, not close enough to the front that he would be seen as a swot but still close enough to the front to seem keen, so that Mrs Donnelly wouldn't pay attention to him. Normally Danny had no problems following along in class, in fact he was normally the top of all his classes, though he was careful not to do too well, as that was as bad as doing too badly. He pretended to read the book but all he could think of was how long it was until he could go home. His head throbbed in time to the second hand on his watch. He made it through to lunch somehow. He wanted to just go home, but there was no way they would just let him leave. They would want to call Mom to come get him. Then everything would come out. He should have stayed home this morning he thought regretfully as he sat in the canteen. The other kids chattered around him, the noise which never normally bothered him seemed too loud. The noise was like little pin pricks in his head. He tried to put on a smile as one of them said something to him. Nausea washed over him suddenly he got up to rush to the bathroom, the world tilted around him and everything went dark.

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Neal woke up sweating; it had been a while since he had even thought about that incident. Since he had thought of himself as being Danny. He sat up and realised his head really was aching and his throat scratchy. That was probably why his subconscious had dragged up being ill as a kid, just his subconscious making strange connections. He forced himself to get up, but after a shower and coffee he still felt exhausted and achy. He was reluctant to call in sick. He was supposed to be going with Peter to a gallery to authenticate a painting, showing off his skills to Peter was always fun.

He wasn't hungry but forced a few bits of toast, since taking tablets on an empty stomach was a bad idea and then took a large dose of ibuprofen. His phone rang letting him know Peter was waiting downstairs. The autumn breeze felt great as he opened the door, though he knew it was only because he was running a fever. He could see Peter waiting, impatient as always. He opened the door and climbed in.

"Good morning Peter." He said in his best Neal voice. Neal was always polite. It was always the best starting point in any situation. That was something Danny hadn't realised. That being considerate of other people often made them considerate of you, and that even if it didn't that it gave you a set of rules by which to live. It helped to have a code to live by, a set of rules of behaviour that told you how you should behave in difficult situations. It had been hard being Danny, Neal thought.

"Are you listening to me?" Peter's voice intruded on Neal's thoughts. Neal tried to remember what Peter had been saying, something about the case, Neal thought.

"Of course I was listening. I always listen to you Peter." Neal lied smoothly.

Peter humphed but in his amused tone so Neal figured he had got away with the half lie.

They pulled up at the gallery and it took a minute for Neal to find his legs.

"Something the matter?" Peter asked asking him critically, as he took an extra step to find his balance getting out of the car. There was a reason Peter had been the agent that had finally caught Neal Caffrey, notorious bond forget and suspected art thief, he was smart. He knew Neal inside and out, had made a career out of studying the mind of Neal Caffrey. Sometimes Neal thought Peter knew him better than he knew himself.

"Think I might be coming down with a cold." It was as close to the truth as he was able to admit, even to Peter. He felt those brown eyes examining him closely, with the focus of a microscope. Neal plastered his game face grin on and withstood the scrutiny, just. He wasn't sure why he didn't just tell Peter he wasn't feeling well. As much as Neal liked to pretend Peter was a tyrannical boss to Mozzie and the rest of the White Collar team, he was a reasonable person. He wouldn't expect Neal to work when he was ill, Neal was sure. He was 99% sure. Well maybe 75%. Maybe that was the problem, if he did tell Peter and then Peter let him down, Neal couldn't face that. Not when he was ill, maybe when he was feeling better. No, wait that didn't make sense, when he was feeling better he wouldn't need to tell Peter he was feeling ill. He smiled to himself at thought as he followed Peter in to the gallery.

The gallery owner introduced himself, he seemed nervous. He had approved the purchase of the piece they were there to approve. If it turned out to be a forgery it would cost him reputation as well as money. Neal almost felt bad as he looked at the piece and saw immediately that it was a forgery. He pretended to examine the piece for a few minutes, pretend that it wasn't immediately obvious to him that this was a forgery, that half a dozen little things didn't leap out at him to say this wasn't an original. He waited for Peter to ask the question, so that he wouldn't be the one to let the man down.

"Well?" Peter asked impatiently.

"It's a fake." Neal told him quietly, then explained the main tell-tale signs that proved it. He pretended to look at the other pieces in the gallery as Peter went through the procedures with the gallery owned. He really wanted to sit down, or at least lean against a wall but that would have been giving himself away.

He found himself staring at a modernist piece made up of newspaper clippings all cut up and pasted together. It could have been a self-portrait Neal thought hazily, he was made up of pieces, all put together trying to make a whole person out of bits and pieces.

"don't tell me this one's a fake too?" Peter asked coming up beside him suddenly, Neal tried not to jump. He was definitely off his game.

"No it's real, it's the real me." Neal said. Peter looked at him strangely.

"Okaaay." Peter said slowly. "Well if you're done let's get back to the office, I've got a stack of files with your name on." He headed towards the gallery exit, Neal tried to follow but the world tilted around him like he was on a roller-coaster. He saw Peter turn his expression turning worried before he closed his eyes against the dizziness and everything floated away.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for reviews and even just the follows as they really help motivate me to keep going...

**White Collar - In Hiding -Chapter 2**

_Back then…_

"Danny, Sweetheart?" someone was calling him, he recognised the voice but it wasn't his mom. Danny opened his eyes, the school nurse was standing over him smiling at him.

The school nurse explained that he fainted. He wished she would say passed out and not fainted. Fainted made him sound like a weakling. She asked how he was feeling now. He managed to pull himself together enough to say he was feeling better thank you, that he guessed his mom was right that he shouldn't have skipped breakfast, it was just he wasn't feeling hungry, maybe because he was catching this cold.

The nurse accepted his story, or seemed to. She reassured him that she was sure it was nothing serious too, but that his mom should take him to the doctor's and get him checked out. She then went on to say they couldn't hold of his mom, that the number they had seemed to be for her old job and there was no answer at home. Danny took a breath for an explanation, that she had recently changed jobs and just forgot to update the school but before he could speak the nurse told him that luckily they got hold of his aunt Ellen and she was on her way to pick him up.

Ellen. Danny didn't know how he felt, relieved that he wouldn't have to try and find a way to get out school without them finding out about mom; or scared that the one person who would see straight through him was coming to get him. He let the nurse fuss over him and feed him juice. He pretended to feel better, smiling at her and asking her about her job, when all he really wanted was to lie down and go to sleep. Eventually she was called away to deal with another student who had fallen in the playground and had a scraped knee and Danny was able to close his eyes. He opened his eyes when there was a light touch on his arm to find Ellen standing over him with a serious expression.

"Let's go kiddo" She ordered him. He nodded and pulled himself out of bed, his body felt heavier than normal, like he was carrying a heavy back pack. He kept his game face on though until they got to the car. Ellen unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for him, waited until he was inside and then slammed the door shut. She didn't say much as they pulled away from the school and drove to the nearest clinic. When receptionist said it would be a half an hour wait, Ellen sighed.

"You don't have to wait with me, I'm fine now, I can see the Doctor on my own" Danny offered. She'd already saved him awkward questions from school, he didn't want to waste any more of her time. Ellen just told him to take a seat. He tried to sit still and read one of his books, it was hard to concentrate, his head felt full of cotton wool and he felt sick to his stomach.

When they were finally called in the Doctor examined him and said it was probably just a virus going around and prescribed some drugs. To rest and drink lots of fluids. He told Ellen to keep an eye on his temperature which was a bit higher than he'd like and bring him back if it didn't go down or went up any more. He also commented on Danny being so skinny, asked if he'd been eating. Danny made up something not liking vegetables, something he'd heard other kids say as an acceptable excuse not to eat. Ellen gave him a look when he said it, she'd had enough meals with him to know that wasn't true. They climbed back into Ellen's car and headed for Danny's home. She still didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry they called you at work." Danny offered, trying to work out if he was in trouble.

"It's okay was on my way back into town anyway. I was planning on stopping by later, maybe take you to the shooting range." Ellen told him. He opened his mouth to he'd like that, that he was sure he would be feeling better later on but the sick feeling suddenly became more urgent. Ellen must have glanced at him as she quickly pulled over and he managed to get the door open before he threw up.

"Done?" She asked after he stopped retching for a few minutes. He nodded miserably as she handed him some tissues and a bottle of water from the glove compartment. He nodded and sat back limply.

"Well I guess this means you definitely weren't faking." Ellen said wryly. They pulled up at Danny's house. Danny unfastened his seat belt.

"Thanks for the ride Ellen. Maybe we can go to the range another time." He said hopefully.

Ellen gave him a look like he was crazy.

"I'll take you inside, say hi to your mom." Ellen told him turning off the engine and unbuckling.

"That's okay, you don't need to. Mom's got this cold too, she won't want you to see her sick" Danny told her quickly.

She looked at him considering. "Lets's go kiddo." She told him firmly but not unkindly. He sat in the car trying to think of a way to stop her coming in the house but he couldn't think of one. She opened the door. He got out slowly and then tried to make a run for it. Ellen was a step ahead of him and had him by the collar before he had taken two steps.

"No way kid." She told him firmly.

He felt tears sting his eyes. Ellen looked at him with concern.

"Danny, what's going on?" She asked confused. He couldn't answer.

"It's going to okay." She told him wrapping an arm around his shoulders and steering him towards the house. She went to ring the bell.

"Don't bother." Danny told her and pulled his keys out and opened the door.

"Isn't your mom here?" Ellen asked confused.

"She is." Danny told her. "I told you she's sick too." He told her tiredly stepping inside. He hung his school backpack up and kicked off his shoes, before hesitating over what to do now.

He was aware of Ellen's eyes examining the mess and dirt, her police trained eyes no doubt seeing clues everywhere.

"Can I get you some water?" He asked. Ellen smiled at him.

"I'll take care of myself. You go get into bed. I'll be right there. I'll just go check on your mom." Ellen told him. He started towards his bedroom door then hesitated and followed Ellen as she walked to the back of the house and knocked on his mom's bedroom door.

"Jane, it's me Ellen. I'm coming in." Ellen opened the door. Danny went to follow her in but Ellen turned her hand on the door handle.

"Danny, bed. Now." She told him. This time she steered him to his room and watched him climb into bed. As soon as she left he climbed out and opened his door and crept towards his mom's room.

He couldn't hear much, couldn't really make out any words. Ellen's voice raised in query, no reply from his mom at first. Then a sharper tone from Ellen and he heard his mom's voice say something in reply. Their tone's got louder from there. A few minutes later Ellen opened the door and came storming out.

"Danny, I told you to goto bed." Elle shouted glaring at him.

"Don't shout at him." Mom came out to the doorway. Danny was embarrassed for her, she was in her nightdress at 4pm in the afternoon. Ellen turned to her and glared.

"I'm not shouting at him Jane." Ellen told her exasperated. "He's a sick child. He needs to be in bed."

Tears formed in Mom's eyes. Danny felt helpless. It was his fault they were fighting.

"I'm sorry he told them." He felt that dizzy feeling come over him like in class, little white spots flashed in front of his eyes. He was going to pass out again. He tried to get back to his room so he could lie down, he didn't think he would make it but then Ellen was there holding him up and guiding him back into his room. She put him into bed, got him a glass of water, then sat next to his bed until he fell asleep.

When he woke up Ellen was gone. His headache was better, though he still didn't feel great. He glanced at his watch, it was 11pm. He climbed out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. He could hear banging noises and raised voices. He walked in to find Ellen angrily unpacking bags of groceries. It was shocking to see so much food in their kitchen. Danny couldn't remember the last time their cupboards were full.

"How are you feeling kiddo?" Ellen asked smiling at him. He shrugged.

"Okay." He told her. She eyed him speculatively.

"You want some juice?" She asked. He nodded and sat at the table while she washed a glass for him and poured him a glass of orange juice and sat opposite him.

"What are you going to do?" He asked directly. Ellen looked confused.

"I won't go into care, my mom needs me." He told her. She nodded seriously.

"You're right. You're mom does need you, but she also more help than you can give her." Ellen told him. The words hurt, as much as he knew it was true.

"Also as smart as you are, you can't deal with all this on your own. What if I hadn't been around today?" Ellen asked.

"Did you call social services?" Danny asked ignoring the question. Ellen looked surprised. "Is that what this is about? No one wants to separate you from your Mom Danny, we just want what's best for both of you." Ellen told him. He wouldn't have believed it from anyone else but he knew Ellen didn't lie to him. She always told him the truth, even when he didn't want to hear it. He went to go back to his room, angry with her anyway, for giving him the hope that everything would be okay. The only reason he hadn't called her before was he knew she would do what she thought was right no matter what, even if that meant calling Social Services. He went to get up to go back to his room, to think what he should do.

"I didn't call Social Services." She told him before he finished standing up. He sat back down and waited.

"I won't call them, on two conditions. First, your Mom has to go to the doctors and get some help. She's agreed to do that. Second, I'll be staying here until I'm satisfied you are both better, you'll let me take care of things until them." She told him.

"What about your work?" He asked in a small voice.

"That's not something you should be worried about. The last time I saw your dad I promised I would keep an eye on the two of you and you know I don't break my word." She told him. He found himself hugging her and crying again for the second time that day. "I love you kiddo" She told him hugging him back.

Once they had both calmed down Ellen made him some soup and took his temperature before making him go back to bed. He got into his bed, clean sheets felt so good and fell asleep without worrying about the next day. Knowing that if there was a problem Ellen would take care of it.

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	3. Chapter 3

**White Collar - In Hiding -Chapter 3**

_Now…_

Neal woke up to Peter tapping him on the cheek.

"You know I'm not sure hitting me is going to help my headache any." Neal offered. Peter looked so relieved to see him wake up that Neal didn't have the heart to tease him anymore. Peter pulled him up and deposited him in a chair, ordering the gallery manager to get him some water.

"Are you okay?" Peter was standing in front of him.

Neal considered the question. He felt like crap, his head was aching and he felt like ice despite the mild weather. However, he was also feeling embarrassed at fainting in front of Peter.

"Yes, I guess I've definitely got a bug." Neal admitted.

"People don't normally faint from colds" Peter said doubtfully.

"I passed out. I don't faint." Neal told Peter huffily, hoping to distract him.

"Well you did a good impression of someone fainting." Peter said distractedly as the gallery owner came back and handed Neal the water. He took, smiling at her in thanks and taking a sip. The water was cool on his throat. Peter sighed in annoyance, though Neal couldn't tell if it was in his evasion or in his flirting.

"You think you can make it to the car?" Peter asked. Neal rolled his eyes.

"Yes Peter, I can make it to the car. I'm fine now." He told Peter irritated. He stood up only a little more slowly than usual and they made it safely to the street. Neal was warm now so it was good to get outside into the breeze. He ignored Peter's car and made his way to the curb.

"Where are you going?" Peter asked confused.

"I'm getting a taxi home." Neal said equally confused. Surely Peter wasn't expecting him to go back to work when he was sick, unless he thought Neal was faking.

"Get in the car Neal." Peter ordered.

"Can we at least stop at a pharmacy on the way back to the office?" Neal asked trying not to sound bitter.

Peter glanced across at him like he was crazy.

"We're not going back to the office; I'm taking you to the Doctors." He told Neal.

"That's okay. I just need to go home, drink fluids and rest." Neal told him feeling embarrassed again. He didn't want all this fuss and exposure when he wasn't feeling well.

"Neal people who collapse are not okay. I have a duty of care towards you. It wouldn't exactly look good if I let it get around I worked my CI to death." Peter told him.

Of course. It was part of Peter's job to look after him. Neal felt better having established Peter's motivation. Peter called ahead to his Doctor's and managed to get an appointment for Neal. For a terrible second Neal thought he was going to insist on coming in with him to see the Doctor but he stayed seated when Neal's name was called focused on a car magazine he found.

The examination was much as Neal expected. Neal explained that he had been feeling unwell and got lightheaded earlier. The Doctor examined Neal, took his blood pressure which was a bit low and his temperature which was a bit high. He asked awkward questions about whether Neal had been eating and sleeping properly. Neal lied automatically. The truth was that he had slept badly since Ellen died; the nightmares that he had following Kate's death were back, only now Ellen was there too, bleeding, burning, and dying in front of him. Blaming him. The doctor took swabs to send away for tests but said it was most likely just overwork combined with a virus. He suggested a few days holiday once Neal was feeling better which made Neal laugh, if a little bitterly. He didn't bother explaining that he didn't get holidays.

He walked out to the waiting room to find Peter nowhere in sight. He must have gone back to the office. Neal felt disappointed, which was ridiculous. He was a grown man; he didn't need a babysitter when he had a cold. He walked outside; thinking to find a cab to get home, Peter was sitting in his car just outside. He waved Neal over when he saw him. Neal walked over and opened the door just in time to hear Clinton say he got the paperwork from the gallery and would tie up the files for them. Peter thanked him and hung up.

"Sorry, I wasn't sure how long you'd be and they don' let you use mobiles inside." Peter explained as Neal climbed into the car.

"That's okay, you didn't have to wait, and the Doctor said it was just a virus." Neal told him just before the tickle in his throat turned into a cough. He got his handkerchief out in time to cover his mouth.

"It's okay, it's a quiet day at work anyway. Plus you are a valuable FBI asset after all" Peter joked pulling out.

"Do you want to come back to my place? I'm sure El would be happy to make you soup." Peter offered. Neal shook his head.

"Thanks, but I just want to get into my own bed and sleep." Neal told Peter who nodded. The drive from the Doctor's to June's house seemed to take forever, though the clock said it was only about twenty minutes. Neal tried to keep his misery to himself and refrain from coughing to relieve the itching in his chest and throat. Peter left him alone and didn't ask any questions, just muttering to himself about traffic. Peter hesitated when he pulled up but Neal quickly got out and told Peter he'd see him tomorrow heading inside before Peter could follow him in.

June was out so Neal warned June's staff that he had a cold and that he was going to bed and that June should stay away as he didn't want to risk giving her a cold. June was very healthy for an older lady but her granddaughter was suffering a serious kidney disease and so she couldn't afford to be exposed to germs. He also texted Mozzie to warn him not to come over because he was sick. That done he was able to relax finally; he climbed into bed and fell asleep.

Neal woke up coughing until he couldn't catch his breath, the sheets were soaked with sweat and he was simultaneously shivering but hot. He glanced at the clock, it was 3am. He was so incredibly thirsty he realised. He climbed out of bed and found his legs could barely support his own weight and his whole body was aching. For once he was glad he lived in a studio apartment as he staggered over to the sink. He managed to sip some water before the coughing started again. Apparently this virus had gone to his chest. He felt like he was breathing through molasses. He didn't want to be on his own, he could call for June, but he didn't want to wake the older lady in the middle of the night.

He should call Ellen he thought, it was so obvious. Then he remembered. Ellen was dead. She wouldn't be able to come and save him this time. Kate was dead too. He cried for them and himself. He made it back to the bed; he should just go to sleep. It would all seem better in the morning.

He lay there, exhausted but unable to sleep. Bad thoughts kept spinning around his head. Kate dying because of him. Ellen dying because of him. It was like he was cursed. He coughed so hard his throat burned and he was gasping to catch his breath once he was finally able to stop. He might die, he thought idly. He didn't want June to find his body in the morning. It wouldn't be right. He fumbled for his mobile and called Peter.

"Neal?" Peter asked sleepily.

"Peter I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused." Neal thought it was important Peter should know how sorry he was.

"Neal what's going on?" Peter asked more sharply.

"Can you make sure it's not June? It wouldn't be right." Neal told him.

"What wouldn't be right? What's wrong with June?" Peter asked. Neal could hear him moving in the background and El's voice in query.

Neal started coughing and couldn't stop.

"Neal, are you still there? Are you okay?" Peter asked.

"I'm sorry to ask you but you are used to bodies." Neal explained.

"Bodies? Neal what are you talking about. I'm coming over. Don't do anything until I get there." Peter told him urgently. Neal was aware that Peter was still speaking to him but he couldn't really concentrate anymore.

Everything was hazy, but it was better, even the coughing hurt less. He vaguely heard the phone ring downstairs. Then June was there shaking him awake and asking him questions. He told her he was sorry. She seemed sad. Then there were just flashes, Peter and Elizabeth, who looked upset.

He was vaguely aware of Peter and El bundling him into blankets and taking him outside where the cold air burned like ice. He remembered struggling to go back inside but he didn't have the strength. Then there was mostly darkness.

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	4. Chapter 4

_Back then…_

Danny breathed a sigh of relief as he reached Ellen's place. He wished not for the first time that his mom accepted Ellen's offer of help renting a place close to her instead of the trailer park they were living in now. He limped up to the door. Her car wasn't there, he hadn't really expected it to be since he knew she had gone out of town this morning to see a big client and wasn't due back until tomorrow. It only took a few minutes for him to disable the security system and let himself in.

He cleaned himself up, avoiding his reflection in the mirror and made himself a peanut butter sandwich, thankful that there was bread. Ellen wasn't the most domestic of people and she often gave money for Danny to cook something for them both when he came over.

Ellen must have expected him to drop by soon as she had left him the plans for two new clients security systems to review. They had an agreement that Ellen paid Danny 50 bucks for every security system he was able to crack and an additional 10 bucks for each additional weakness. He had a natural talent for picking locks and seeing the weak links in the security. Occasionally Ellen even took him along to demonstrate to clients how even a junior high student could break their existing security systems. It took him about an hour to find three ways through the first one. He was just reading through the second company's plans when a car pulled up outside. Damn, Ellen was home early. He stood up to try and sneak out the back before she saw him, but he had stiffened up from sitting too long.

"Danny?" she called out as she opened the door. He was caught halfway from the table as she came in and dropped her handbag on the counter. Her eyes widened as she saw his face, the swelling around his eye, the bruise on his jaw.

"What happened?" She asked coming over, gripping his chin gently and tipping his face towards the light. He tried to avoid her eyes which was difficult when she was holding his face.

"Dirk said I needed to be taught a lesson." Danny told her. Dirk was Mom's latest beau. He wasn't as bad as some of the others, but he was heavy handed and not too bright. Unfortunately he also felt it was his duty to teach Danny in the ways of manliness and that being smart was not manly.

"I'll make up your bed." Ellen said simply.

They ordered Pizza and Danny showed her his work while they waited for it.

Ellen shook her head in amazement smiling at Danny, who glowed with pride.

"If you change your mind about joining the police force when you graduate you could have a future in crime." Ellen joked as they sat next to each other on the soda and ate their pizza in front of the tv, making Danny laugh.

"You could move in here if you want." Ellen offered casually.

Neal didn't say anything for a minute. He loved Ellen and he didn't know what he would do if she was around. This was the only place he could relax and let his guard down. If he lived here, life would be much simpler, he could have a more normal home life, maybe even make real friends at school, people he could bring back here to his home. He thought about it seriously for a minute before shaking his head. Despite everything he loved his mom. He could never do that to her.

He looked at Ellen, trying to find the words to say how grateful he was for the offer, how he wished he could accept and the reasons why he couldn't accept but he couldn't find the words. He found his eyes tearing up. Ellen smiled at him.

"It's okay Danny I understand." She told him putting an arm around him and giving him a hug and he thought she did.

"Just know if you ever change your mind just let me know. The offer stays open, I am on your side." Ellen told him.

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_Present…_

Neal woke up with a pain in his head, his chest and in his arm. He opened up his eyes to see what was wrong to find a needle and drip attached to his right arm pumping some colourless liquid into his veins. He was slightly surprised to find he was not in his bed at June's but in a hospital bed as his last clear memory was of being dropped off by Peter and going to bed. His chest was aching and moving caused him to cough wetly. Peter was sat by his bed with his eyes shut, he was pale with dark shadows under his eyes. Neal thought he was asleep but he opened his eyes as Neal coughed and sat up straight.

"You're awake." He said sleepily.

"Good morning Peter." Neal acknowledged.

"I'll go find someone" Peter told him, getting up to go and find a nurse or Doctor.

The Nurse came back and took Neal's temperature and blood pressure and checked the drip, pleased with the results, before getting him settled more comfortably. She explained that he had been admitted last night with a high fever and that a chest x-ray had determined that he had contracted a bad case of pneumonia, but they had him on antibiotics and she was sure he would be better in no time. The Doctor would be around in a few hours and might even be able to discharge him today since his temperature and blood pressure were almost back to normal.

Peter didn't say much and excused himself to call Elizabeth and June and let them know that Neal was doing better.

"I'm sorry about disturbing your sleep Peter" Neal told him, embarrassed by all the fuss he had caused.

"You gave Elizabeth and June quite a fright." Peter told him. Neal heard the unspoken 'and me' in the sentence.

"I'll have to make it up to them." Neal nodded feeling awkward and exposed lying there. He felt vulnerable lying there in front of Peter, in a ward full of sick people wearing nothing but a hospital gown. The fact someone had been able to undress him without him even knowing and inject drugs into him made him feel really uncomfortable. He would be glad to get out of there and get home.

"I appreciate you waiting until I woke up, but you don't have to stay. I'll let you know what the Doctor says I can get back to work." Neal told Peter who was still more grim faced than Neal would have expected considering Neal was clearly on the mend. Surely Peter wasn't angry with him for getting sick?

"No Neal, I'll be staying to hear what the Doctor has to say." Peter told him. Something about the way Peter spoke so matter of factly, on top of the dream he had, reminded him of Ellen. His chest ached more at the thought that she was gone.

Neal opened his mouth to ask if Peter didn't trust him to tell him what the Doctor said, but closed it again at Peter's glare. He was definitely angry about something. He tried to think of a reason Peter would be upset.

"So how did I end up here anyway?" Neal asked fishing for clues.

Peter's lip thinned into a line. "You don't remember?" he asked incredulously.

Neal shook his head. He did sort of remember, in bits and pieces but he needed Peter's take on it if he was going to work out what was wrong.

The Doctor came by an hour later, he was pleased with Neal's progress and agreed to discharge him as long as there was someone at home to look after him. Neal opened his mouth to assure the doctor he'd be well looked after but Peter spoke first.

"He's coming home with me." Peter told the Doctor calmly. Neal nodded as if this wasn't news to him, figuring anything that got him signed out of here faster the better. He could talk to Peter later about going home. There were forms to be signed by the Doctor, Neal and Peter and then he was finally free.

He got dressed in the sweats and a t-shirt he had been wearing when he was admitted. He was looking forward to going home, showering and getting changed. He felt a little shaky and weak but otherwise pretty normal. It was strange to think he had been so out of it yesterday. Peter was acting very strange so Neal decided to go along with whatever he wanted for now, until he could work out what the problem was.

They got Neal checked out of the hospital and after a brief argument with the orderly about whether Neal needed a wheelchair they walked slowly out to the car in silence.

"El said to tell you she's making her chicken noodle soup for you tonight. It's delicious." Peter told Neal as they drove back, trying to improve the mood between them. Neal just nodded and rested his head against the car window. The silence broken only by a coughing fit. Neal noticed Peter's knuckles were white on the steering wheel but he didn't say anything until the coughing fit stopped and Neal was able to sit back more comfortbly.

"Do you want me to pick up anything from your apartment, clothes, books?" Peter asked as a peace offering glancing across at him, but Neal just shrugged without speaking and then shut his eyes only opening them as Peter pulled up at his house. He showed Neal into the house and told him, he would be doing some work in the kitchen, Elizabeth would be home for dinner around 7 and that he should rest until then. He turned to go to the kitchen.

Neal stood awkwardly in the living room feeling like an intruder. He'd had enough.

"Peter I appreciate you putting me up, but I'm going back to Junes. I don't want to impose." He said as He turned to leave, but Peter stormed back to the living room and grabbed Neal's arm.

"You aren't going anywhere except back to bed" He told Neal firmly.

"You worried you might lose the FBI's 'asset'" Neal asked bitterly.

"No Neal, I'm worried about you." Peter told Neal frustrated. Neal rarely showed his emotions, even when Kate died Neal didn't give much evidence of how it affected him, though Peter knew him well enough to see through the cracks. Now Ellen was gone too. Peter didn't know much about Neal's past but he could tell she was very important to Neal. It wasn't healthy to bottle up all that grief. No wonder he was sick. Why couldn't Neal open up to him? He supposed he wasn't exactly the most open of people himself, though with El's help he did try.

"I'm a grown man Peter, I think I can take care of myself." Neal told Peter coldly.

"The evidence would suggest otherwise." Peter said back snarkily, his temper rising. He took a deep breath to calm down.

"You are still a ward of the FBI in my custody and I say you are staying here until the Doctor says you are better. That's final." Peter told him.

"and if I refuse?" Neal asked curiously.

"Then I'll have to send you back to prison until you are declared fit to return to work." Peter told him trying to stay calm. There was silence between them and Peter almost wished he could have taken the threat back.

"Fine." Neal said curtly glaring at Peter. The fierce expression only slightly dulled by the fact his hair was mussed and curling over his forehead and he was still wearing his sweats and t shirt which made him look much younger than he was. Neal went up to the spare room, trying to not to feel like a sulky teenager being sent to his room. Despite everything he fell asleep while thinking about what he was going to do.


	5. Chapter 5

**White Collar – In Hiding – Chapter 5**

To Peter's relief, Neal up to the spare room without any more protest. Elizabeth had dinner almost ready when the doorbell rang, Peter opened it to find delivery men standing there holding several cases and boxes.

"Can I help you?" Peter asked thinking they might have the wrong house.

"They're here for me." Neal announced from halfway down the stairs. He had showered and shaved and appeared to be wearing Peter's dressing gown, to Peter's consternation.

"You asked if I need anything from Junes, well I decided there were a few things I needed if I'm going to be staying here. You can take them upstairs, first floor the room on the right." The last comment Neal directed to the delivery men.

Peter watched dumbfounded as a stream of delivery men carried what seemed like box after box up the stairs. One came in carrying an easel.

"I think that should stay down here." Neal told him and directed the delivery of the last few bags. He pulled out his wallet and tipped the delivery men generously.

"This is ridiculous. What have you even got in all these?" Peter asked as Elizabeth came out of the kitchen to see what the commotion was.

"What's going on?" El asked.

"Peter kindly suggested that I should bring over a few home comforts, to make me feel at home. That's alright isn't it Elizabeth?" Neal asked with wide eyed innocence.

"A few home comforts?" Peter spluttered as El assured Neal that it was quite alright, her eyes sparkling with amusement as she tried not to laugh at Peter's outraged expression.

"Well dinner's ready." Elizabeth told them both before Peter could start voicing his outrage, shepherding the two men to the dining room table.

"This is delicious Elizabeth, thank you." Neal told her, before launching into an anecdote about the time he was caught out with no creature comforts, being stranded in the middle of a small village in France wearing nothing but a beret after losing a bet. The stories were both entertaining and distracting and had both Peter and Elizabeth laughing out loud but didn't stop Peter from noticing that despite his praise of the food that Neal ate only a few spoonfuls of the soup though Neal was quick to stand up to clear his bowl once Peter and Elizabeth had finished to disguise the fact.

After exchanging a glance with Elizabeth, Peter took Satchmo out for walk while El cleaned up.

"Can I help?" Neal offered.

"No it's okay, but you could keep me company." She suggested pointing to the bar stool at the counter.

"Peter's worried about you." Elizabeth told him bluntly as she loaded the plates into the dishwasher.

"There's really no need." Neal told her. El turned away from the dishwasher and gave him a frank look.

"Last night we ended up rushing you to the hospital." Elizabeth pointed out. Incredulously

"It won't happen again." Neal told her slightly chagrined.

"You won't get sick again? I think even you might find that difficult." Elizabeth told him with a small smile.

"I am good at not being caught." Neal joked. Elizabeth finished loading the dishwasher and wiped her hands before turning her focus on Neal.

"Maybe you can just let someone know you need help before it gets to that stage next time? You know Peter would do anything for you." She told him gently, but coming from Elizabeth it was a rebuke.

"I'll try." Neal told her slightly awkwardly, reluctant to promise anything, though he couldn't have admitted why, even to himself.

She nodded and let the conversation drop.

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_Back then…._

Ellen pulled up to the pavement and silently unlocked the door for Danny to get in limping.

He could tell how furious she was but she didn't say anything until they were inside her apartment.

"Are you okay?" She asked with concern. Danny nodded, not quite honestly, he was bruised from shoulder to hip and his ribs were aching, but at this point he didn't want to let Ellen know how close it had been.

"Then how could you be so stupid and selfish?" Ellen demanded. "What were you thinking, breaking into McHugh's house?"

"I just wanted to get what he owed you." Danny told her. Ellen scowled.

"I was handling it. Even if I wasn't breaking and entering is not the answer." Ellen told him angrily.

"He's the thief. We installed state of the art security system for him and then he stiffs you on the bill!" I heard you on the phone to the Marshalls, he's involved in the mob or was." Danny argued getting angry himself at the injustice of it. He had just wanted to get back what was theirs. He was on his way out when McHugh came home early. They'd struggled briefly but he'd made it outside by jumping out a first floor window and rolling down the bank. He'd sprained his ankle but made it two blocks before he was sure he wasn't being chased. He'd called Ellen for a ride.

Ellen's scowl deepened. "If you heard that, then you should have thought about how dangerous he might be?" She asked. Danny scowled back.

"I can take care of myself, I got out of there didn't I?" He asked annoyed at the idea he was still a child who needed help. Ellen took a deep breath,

"Danny if anything happened to you…" She trailed off and then continued with "What would I tell your mother?"

Danny heard the concern for him in the gap and it wiped away his own anger. He shifted uneasily putting weight on his sprained ankle making him wince.

Ellen noticed and got him sat down

"So what did you take?" Ellen asked as she helped him get his shoe off and applied an ice pack.

He nodded to his rucksack. Ellen picked it up, unzipped it and gave a surprised laugh before tipping it out onto her table. The bag contained the entire security system they had installed together with the locks from all the outer doors. Ellen looked at him, unable to keep her admiration out of her gaze even though Neal knew she wanted to disapprove. Danny couldn't keep a smile off his face at Ellen's amusement.

"I just took back what was ours." Danny told her quietly, with anyone else he would have played it meek but Ellen was the one person he couldn't fool with his acting skills.

Ellen turned serious again and sat down opposite him.

"I appreciate why you did it but I don't want you to do anything like this again, do you hear me?" She waited for his nod.

"It's not just that you put your life in danger, though that's bad enough, you are putting your whole future in danger. A criminal record is not going to look good on your resume." She pointed out, appealing to his intellect, knowing him well enough to know that the risk of danger wasn't going to deter him.

"I guess the police academy wouldn't be too keen on accepting a burglar." He admitted.

Ellen got that strange expression she got sometimes when Danny mentioned his desire to join the police force. He didn't know why she was so against him joining when both she and his Dad had been cops. He assumed it was because his dad had been killed in the line of duty, she was scared of the same thing happening to him but sometimes she said little things that weren't quite in line with that. She seemed to be going some internal conflict and he expected the normal lecture about how he was too clever to just join the police force after school, that he should travel first or go to college. She didn't say that though to his surprise.

"Whatever your plans, a criminal record will soon put an end to them." Ellen said finally.

Danny nodded chastised. She was right, he had nearly been caught tonight and though it had been fun sticking it to McHugh it wasn't worth the risk. He wanted to be the sort of policeman as his father, the sort of policeman who died protecting other people.

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	6. Chapter 6

**White Collar – In Hiding – Chapter 6**

Despite how it had looked, most of the boxes Neal had brought over were full of gifts for Peter and Elizabeth. Various 'objets d'art' as Neal referred to them, statuettes, hardstone carvings, several ornately bound books on the renaissance masters, a small clock, a gold box, a silk rug and to Elizabeth's delight, a huge Moroccan wall tapestry.

"Neal we can't possibly accept all these." Elizabeth told him slightly breathlessly as she examined each peace carefully before putting it back reluctantly.

"Why not?" Neal asked with a puzzled smile. He was dressed in a silk dressing gown and slippers like some 30s debutante. He was the normal immaculate and charming Neal Caffrey on the surface, only the pale cast of his face hinted at his illness.

"Where did they come from?" Peter asked suspiciously.

"They are all legally obtained. I have paperwork." Neal assured him.

"That's not the point, they must be worth thousands of pounds." Elizabeth told him while simultaneously trying on a diamante broach.

Neal opened his mouth to speak but started coughing violently instead. El quickly put the broach to one side to rub his back until he was able to stop while Peter got him a glass of water.

Once he stopped coughing Peter restarted their conversation.

"How would it look for a White Collar agent to have a house full of suspiciously obtained objects?" Peter asked.

"How does it look for a White Collar agent to have absolutely no interest in art?" Neal countered. "Besides why should Elizabeth go without because of your job?" Neal argued causing Peter to frown.

"How about this, you just look after them for me, until I go back to Junes." Neal suggested. El looked at Peter entreatingly and Peter sighed knowing when he was beaten.

"You promise they are all legally obtained?" He asked staring into Neal's eyes.

"Absolutely." Neal told him earnestly. Peter sighed and agreed, not only because he knew it would make El happy arranging them around the house for the next few days, but because he knew Neal was just trying to do something nice for them. Some people might think Neal was trying to buy their favour, giving them things to like him but Peter knew it was more that Neal liked to make people happy. El wanted to start arranging things around the house but they could both see he was starting to fade, the shadows under his eyes dark enough to be mistaken for black eyes.

They ate dinner with Neal only picking at his food and then El steered him up to bed with a book. He only put up a token resistance which let them know how tired he really was.

Peter decided to get on with some work. Neal's collapse had meant he hadn't finished his report and while Diana and Jones could be relied on to pick up the slack, there were some things that needed his personal supervision.

He was just getting ready for bed when he heard a voice from the spare room, followed by a shout. He threw open the door half expecting to find an intruder, but instead finding Neal tossing and turning among twisted sheets.

"No. Ellen…not true…how could you lie to me?." Neal muttered turning towards Peter, who could see he was flushed and shiny with sweat. He muttered something unintelligible then shouted something about how he was sorry in a panicked voice. Peter debated about waking him before took the decision out his hands, suddenly screaming Ellen's name and sitting up, the shout turning into uncontrolled coughing.

"Neal it's okay, it's just a dream." Peter told him hurriedly, trying to calm him down. He thought of getting El. She was better at this sort of thing. He patted Neal on the shoulder a bit awkwardly sitting on the edge of the bed so that he wasn't looming over him.

"Peter?" Neal asked confused finally catching his breath.

"Yeah it's me buddy. You're okay, you were having a nightmare." Peter told him "Sounded like one heck of a dream. I get them sometimes, El won't let me have cheese before bed now." Peter was aware he was almost babbling but the flow of words allowed Neal time to wake up properly and pull himself together.

"You wouldn't lie to me would you Peter, not about something important?" Neal asked his eyes staring into the distance. Peter assured him that he wouldn't.

"Even for my own good?" Neal asked. Peter hesitated, the truth was he would, and had, withheld the truth from Neal in the past when he thought that Neal might do something illegal or dangerous if he knew the truth.

"Never again." Peter promised.

Neal seemed to accept that , Peter got him changed into dry clothes, changed the bedding and bundled Neal back into bed plying him with some of the medicine Neal had been sent home with. He felt more like a parent putting his child to bed, than an FBI agent with his criminal consultant. He sat in the chair by the bed watching as Neal fell asleep. Once he was satisfied that Neal was fast asleep and breathing okay he made his way to bed. Exhausted himself he undressed and slid in next to El. She rolled in to cuddle up to him and he wrapped his arm around her and gave thanks again for his life with her and his family. His heart ached for As much as they had their faults, he knew where he came from, that his family loved him.


End file.
